i am sure each one of us has done his or her research to answer this question. for some it is the stock markets, for the others it might be real estate or gold depending upon the individual’s comfort level. what i am about to propose might be too bizarre for most people.

if you ask me the best market to invest in is the groom market. yes, you read it right, and no, i didn’t mean the booming indian marriage market, which caters to the likes of arun nair and liz hurley, which is a case study in itself.

so what is this groom market one might ask? well, it is the market in which a person invests in his son to increase his social demand, and once the demand increases, he gets him married to the daughter of the highest bidder. the sales consideration in this case is usually referred to as ‘dowry.’

if you ask me, one of the most common mistakes most investors make is that they book profits when the matrimonial demand of their son is above most others around him. most people think of it to be wise to get their sons married as he usually achieves ‘the marriageable age’ by this time. but if one does a study on it he will notice that this is what is referred to as ‘premature selling’ in the stock markets. in my opinion the investor should hold his assets at this point in time. the best time to get him married would be once he has achieved the epitome of the social respect hierarchy as well as an enviable income level.

but the above mentioned trick applies only to good stocks. just like any other market, even this one is subject to immense speculation, so sometimes certain sons are overvalued. in case an investor feels the market value of his offspring might fall in the future, it might be the right time to book profits.
while this weird discussion is still on- let me propose the daddy of all the weird idea- the groom exchange? as long as the income levels continue to rise, the demand for grooms also would. main features and advantages of the groom exchange will be-

• it will be easier for the groom’s father to get optimum consideration for his son.
• even the bride’s side will be able to obtain a groom for a fair market price.
• the decision of converting a son into the right asset type (eg: doctor, engineer, ca) becomes easier for the investor.
• it will be shit funny to see the benchmark index for grooms go up and down everyday.

with the advent of such an exchange, our news tickers would probably read like “doctor index fell by 4.2% today as the health ministry made it mandatory for every doctor to work in a rural region for the first five years of his job.” or “engineer index rose by 12% as foreign infrastructure companies rush to the country.” but how exactly does one go about investing in this market? the first step would be to do identify the actions which will increase the market value of your son. then do a research on them which would involve ease of implementation, cost factor etc. after all, the cost of investment should be lesser than returns expected. for eg: sending your son abroad for education might bolster his market value, but will it be more than the expense you incur is the question to be asked? to some people (read ‘the ones with insanely greedy and twisted mindsets’) this is also a subject of great moral satisfaction, along with the monetary benefit, which is the core reason for such an act.

but let me warn you all- don’t even consider this option if you feel that your son has even the slightest of chance to marry on his free will. for the others, the limitations are only defined to by the lines where our greed ends, which for many of us is a fictitious line anyways.